Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
