..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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