Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
