someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
