If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he puts the penis in happiness.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize