TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
