he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
