i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
