what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
