haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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