As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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