my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
