i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
