when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
