Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
