No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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