if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Randomize
