I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
