Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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