And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
