So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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