One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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