the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
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