Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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