if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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