you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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