I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize