Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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