how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
either way he was missing a nipple.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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