if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
