Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
