Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
