I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
do nipples grow back?
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