wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize