i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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