Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
