He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
