I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
