No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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