she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
