Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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