It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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