You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
