shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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