Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
