dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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