dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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