How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
