i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
