I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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