alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize