come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
