I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
If I had your ass I would rule the world
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
