This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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