There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
